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This area of StepfamilySystems.com is dedicated to Christian faith-based support.
Why the name "Braided Families"(TM) : . People know a
cord of two strands is stronger than one alone. For this demonstration, don't rush, read slowly. You will need three
shoestrings or yarn strips. If you are coupled with someone, staple a tag with one name at the bottom of each strand.
These two strands, wrapped together, create a rope because they don't stand isolated. They reach
with a twisted grasp, wrapping around to cling to the other one for strength. I like ropes! Let's look
at them this way for a minute - what happens when a rope's two strands (representing a couple) are
pulled from the bottom? (The pulling represents stress related to the inherent, and often complex, challenges step-families
face.) So, what happened when you pulled at the bottom of your rope?  It unravelled and the two became separate strands again; no longer cleaving one to the other, they
have faced their undoing.. . Now, let us consider the restoration and
strength of Christ available to His church, the body of believers. Pick up the two strands again (the individuals
of the couple) and add a third one with "God" stapled to it to represent the awesome God we
can know personally. What happens when you weave these three strands together? A braid results. The two strands
are brought closer together by the third which has wrapped itself around the two. Do you see that? So,
let's see what happens when stress pulls at the bottom of a braid. Go ahead, give it some tugs and hard pulls and
see for yourself. What happened? A braid tightens when stress presents
itself; even pulling as hard as you can at its ends -  it just gets tighter! So it can be with God at the center of our relationships. He is able to strengthen us
when we allow Him to go between and around all our circumstances. A key to this success rests in our thought lives.
Your thought life will either lead you places or you can become aware of what your mind is entertaining and you can direct
it; it is somewhat like picking up the television remote. Ecclesiastes 4:12 "And if one prevail against him, two shall
withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken." Your cord of three can be yourself, your child/ren and God
(or) yourself, your spouse and God or both make two cords!. . Why do some families make it? What are the differences between those
that do and do not survive? The faith factor is part of our momentous Stepfamily
Satisfaction and Parental Alienation Experience Survey project; we invite you to participate at your comfort level by clicking
on that menu option to the << left. Unresolved issues in or between households is toxic
to blending a family and can hurt your children for years, even into adult-child / parent relationships if left unaddressed. . Believers
may experience a double-dose of frustration because they not only have family pain, but also wrestle with feelings
associated with their faith and relationship with God. Facing issues is uncomfortable and difficult, especially
if we have been in the wrong. Be quick to apologize when God reveals your short-comings to your heart, lest it should
harden a little more each time you fail to respond to His direction. Sweeping things under the carpet or claiming them as
covered by the blood of Christ and walking away is not Biblical, otherwise, why would there be instruction to leave
your gift at the alter and go make things right with your brethren? (Matt. 5:23) . .  Here is where Christians often take on extra burdens they are not meant to carry: an unsurrendered past, listening
to the adversary, unforgiveness, bondage to old sins. The Bondage Breaker, and Victory Over Darkness are daring reads
by Neil T. Anderson. In every case, the strife I have seen has been the result of having something to conceal (secrets),
immaturity, unresolved issues or unforgiveness, and unmet expectations. Parents who were the on the receiving side of infidelity
can also remain bitter. . When is it time to let go? When is it time to tell the truth? There are many
perceptions of the same experience and as individuals we process life through our own filters of experience and knowledge -
yet there is one truth and processing our situations through the filter of God's word brings unity. . . When spiritual armour is not properly
fitted due to fear or other unresolved issues, pain results as the hot darts of the adversary slip
into the mind and heart, and between the gaps. Strife among believers is a tactic of the adversary to weaken
the witness of the church to a world filled with people who know expectations of "religion"
without experiencing the sweetness of having a relationship with God. On the other hand, many are so focused
on the benefits and promises of God that they ignore the expectations; so it has been said. What do you do if you
have tried to facilitate healing and the door remains closed to your efforts? Pray and stay in the Word.
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Pray. Pray with all that is within you and remember Gen. 50:20, "As for you, you meant evil against me, but God
meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive." Sometimes we forget that
God is working in all His children, all at once, and He is working to bring about a result that will bring His name glory
and honor. . Consider
seeking the counsel of your pastor or other trained staff, a Christian therapist, mediator or coach, but it must be done with
honesty. If we go, but leave the full truth at home, it might look well and good on the outside, but God cares about
what is going on inside and He knows the details. . There are few places better for training the heart
and shaping it than being part of a step-family or in a shared-parenting situation.Giving up our own
desires and full control of raising our own children because our adult relationships failed - and where there
are past hurts to be reconciled is not easy. Know this - when you have done your best, you can live with the results
without the torment of "would-have, could-have, should-have" robbing you of your peace. Rest, trusting in God's
sovereignty and calling your thoughts captive is a key to victory: 2 Cor. 10:5, "We
are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ."  . The doors are open for healing, but it is up to each believer to walk through with God at the
helm. Here is my thought on believers that will not reconcile: one day we are meant to be worshipping
Him together, sharing eternity. Isn't it God-honoring to start here, today, as we are called to be salt and light to
the earth? Where there is angst, perhaps, it could be that the belief is more in the world's interpretations of right and
wrong rather than in the power of the living God to do that which He makes possible. Mark 9:23, "If you can believe,
all things are possible to him who believes." Note that the word used is "possible" and not "guaranteed". . We will be
adding references and resources for facilitating restitution. If your church or ministry deals with restitution, please
write us BraidedFamilies@StepfamilySystems.com. It is the seekers responsibility to vet his/her choice of service provider:
. From God's Little Instruction Book, Devotional Calendar, 1984: To forgive is to set a prisoner
free and discover the prisoner was you! For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive
you; but if ye forgive not men their trespasses neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. Matthew 6:14,15 . From Streams In the Desert,
copyright 1925, 1997, I share August 15:
Brothers and sisters in Christ, I encourage you! Time invested in reading the Bible facilitates knowing the heart of God! The renewing of the mind is an invaluable tool for overcoming hardship and loss. Success is yours in Christ. The definition of success rests with the one giving it meaning. How does it apply to your family's situation as it reflects the heart of God? In closing, let it be brought to the light - parents who cause their children to dishonor the other parents (without just cause for their well-being and safety), do they not cause those children to break the fifth commandment - which also robs them of the blessings that obedience to God is meant to provide their lives? In your anger be careful not to cause your little ones to stumble. And yet, if you have stumbled, do not clothe your guilt with shame, as the adversary of your victory would have you do. The blood cleanses and sets you free to begin again, but the covering up of sin through shame causes self-protection and defenses to rise up and drown out our hope. It is up to us to lay them down and leave them at the foot of the cross in sweet, surrendering moments - several times daily, if we must! Praying for you: BraidedFamilies@StepfamilySystems.com We hope you will attend the StepfamilySystems Shared Parenting Conference August 14 at the Ayers Hotel in Costa Mesa/Newport Beach. We will be offering faith-based break-out group options to serve attendees of the Chrisitan faith. : This is our first National Children and Families Support Pages Directory. Those purchasing ads in 2010, lock
in the second year at the same great rate as our way of saying thank you for helping us grow from Apples to
zebras!
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